


Holding My Heart- A Wayhaught Fanfic

by GoldenShipTV



Series: Holding My Heart [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Wayhaught - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 13:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenShipTV/pseuds/GoldenShipTV
Summary: Wayhaught has to deal with a lot but can they handle everyday life problems? Like dealing with the stress of Christmas or anniversaries or a nosy sister. How will Waverly deal with the demons that Nicole has? How will Nicole deal with the fact that she doesn't who she is anymore? Waverly has no idea how to support Nicole in this hard time and Nicole has no clue how to be vulnerable and lose control. In this lovely fanfic, we will explore Wayhaught's dive into their non-demon problems together and how all they want is to hold each other.





	1. "I think I got chlorine in my eye!"

My Daddy once said pools were made for the squids and I can see it. I feel like a squid in my one piece swimsuit. It has strange cutouts but hell I got it for cheap so it's all good for Wynonna Earp. Lucky for us it's the short period of time in Purgatory when it's actually summer weather: hot, sunny, and sucky. We recently shot this rich revenant who had a pool so me and Waves had an idea to have a pool party to celebrate our big win. We invited the whole gang: Jeremy, Nicole, Doc, Dolls, Waves, and I actually showed up.

Doc brought some booze from Shorty's and we are really having a good time! I have a red solo cup in my hand with my favorite booze: whiskey. I sit down on a pool chair and soak in those UV rays. I look up at my sister and see her laughing. She's been very happy lately and I know it's all Haught. Haught makes my sister happy so she's okay with me. Waves was wearing this cute pink and purple striped bikini swimsuit and I wish I went with her to go swimsuit shopping last week. Haught adjusted her red bikini top and tied it tighter. She was wearing that with black spandex. Nicole then wrapped her arm around my sister.

No one's gone in yet except Jeremy who's in a pink floatie with a Mai Tai in his hands. He giggles while he takes a sip, "So yummy! I love today." He then continues to giggle like a school girl. I take a big gulp from my cup. Better. I thought. I look back at the bar and overhear my sister and Nicole talking. "So you ready to go in, babe?" Nicole asks.

Waverly hesitates," I don't know. I don't want to get my hair wet and I was thinking of eating those crab cakes I made."

"Are you sure? There's a limited time when it's not snowing or us being acted by demons," Nicole said intertwining her fingers into Waverly's. 

Waverly pulls Nicole closer," I'm sure. Go. Swim. Tan. Get wrinkly pool fingers!"

Nicole gives Waverly a peck on the lips and dives into the pool. She disturbs the water and splashes Jeremy in the face. I laugh so hard I spill whiskey down my swimsuit. "Watch it, Haught! I'm trying to have some zen time," Jeremy said.

Nicole rolls her eyes and swims underneath the water. Then I hear Doc talk about during his 'time' they would swim in the watering holes and I cannot take anymore from Doc's history lesson. I chug my drink and leave the cup at the bar. I sit on the edge of the pool and stick my feet in the water. It feels nice. After Alice was born my feet are slowly becoming normal feet again instead of giant clogs. And aren't as swollen anymore. It's nice to have my feet back and to just soak them in the water.

"Nice toes, Earp."

I look down and it's Nicole. She leans against the wall.

I say," Can't take the credit. They just grow out from my feet."

She laughs and looks over at Waverly. She's sitting at the bar with a crab cake in her hand. "So do you get weather like this from where you are from, Haught?" I ask.

"Umm.. yeah I guess. I'm from the Southwest so it gets pretty hot during the summer," Nicole looks at Waverly and says," Waves, you had your crab cake so get in here!" 

Waverly yells back," Can't. Have to wait 30 minutes before going in, remember?"

Nicole looks back at me," Are you Earp girls secretly cats? Cause neither one of you have gotten in. Do you guys hate water like Dolls hates the woods?"

"No. I don't. Just need a good reason to go in and I think I got one. How about we trick Waverly into the water?" I said.

Nicole raises an eyebrow," And how will we do that?"

"Well, I will distract her and you just push her in. It will be fun. I will laugh. You both will be in the water together. It's perfect!" I said excitedly.

I hold out my hand," Do we have a plan Haught Man? Do you get it? Like aqua man but your Haught so Haught Man well actually Haught Woman but Haught Man has a better ring. "

Nicole grabs the hand quickly," Ok, you can stop talking, Earp! I'm in." 

We shake hands and get away from the pool. Nicole heads to the bar and I head to Waverly's stool.We make eye contact and I nod at Nicole to get ready. "So how's it going, sis?" I ask trying to figure out my distraction.

Waverly answers," Um.. good. It's so nice out. I'm going to need to reapply my sunscreen soon but this was such a great idea, Wynonna. We're having such a good time."

I look around and then notice the moon is still out in the sky. Ah ha! This will do. 

"Hey, Waves. Do you see that?" I say pointing out to the sky. 

She looks but is confused," I don't see anything."

"Just get closer and you will see what I'm seeing... look," I push her forward about a foot away from the pool," Look the moon. In broad daylight, cool right?"

Nicole creeps behind," I guess but I have seen that a bunch of times. Isn't really new, " Waverly says confused.

I shake my head forward to signal Nicole to go," Really? I guess I never pay attention to what's in front of my eyes."

Then Nicole quickly pushes Waverly forward throwing them both in the water. "Got you, ya!" Nicole yells.

I say," Better get ready for the cannon ball!"I jump in. 

Waverly shoves Nicole," You jerks! I hate you all. I think I got chlorine in my eye. So mean, you too."

"Yeah but it was so fun!" Nicole says happily.

I hold my hand up," Yeah it was, Haught," We high five," We are the dream team, man!"

"Hope you enjoyed those happy smiles because get ready for the splash monster!" Waverly joked.

She started to splash big waves at Nicole's face and then mine. I try to protect my eyes while Nicole goes on the defense and splashes back. "Oh, really? You gonna do me like that, baby?" Nicole says.

She splashes hard and I shout over the water," TRUCE! Truce. I can't get water in my eyes and lose my contacts." 

"Fine. Truce," Nicole says.

Waverly smiles widens," So I won? You are quitter!"

Nicole reaches out and grabs both of Waverly's hands. She pulls her closer to her face. "I'm not a quitter. I'm just being nice and letting you win," Nicole says. 

Waverly plays with Nicole's fingers playfully," Ok. If that's what you say, Haught. Believe what you believe to fall asleep at night." 

"You challenging me?" She says moving closer.

"Yes, I am. I'm challenging you," Waverly wraps her hands around the back of Nicole's neck," I'm challenging you to kiss me."

Nicole then wraps her arms around my sister and I want to vomit over this fluffy cute coupley garbage that my eyes are forced to watch. Uggg PDA. Uggg happy couples. UGGG my life! I feel like I need to shoot something to fix all the PDA I have just witnessed now.

Nicole leans in," I kinda love you, Waverly Earp, you know that?"

"Well, I love you too damn much....." Waverly says before I interrupt her.

I yell, " AGREED!" 

"Shut up, love hater! Anyways.... I love you so damn much, Nicole Haught. So.... I win..... every... time!" Waverly says tracing her fingers across the mole on Nicole's cheek. 

Nicole leans her forehead against Waverly's," So were both winners then. How did I get so lucky?"

Waverly holds her jaw with her fingers,"You haven't yet but maybe if you kissed me you would?"

Nicole shakes her head 'yes' and leans into Waverly's lips. They start passionately kissing. I look away as quickly as I can. I can hear Nicole breathing heavily and then grab something from the side of the pool. I can't take any more sweetness. My eyes and ears are getting cavities from this damn PDA. I step closer to them and look at them making out. Nicole has her hands gripping Waverly's lower back and I put what I found from the side of the pool into the pool water. Waverly runs her fingers through Nicole's hair while I pull back the lever. They start to kiss deeply and then I press the trigger button. The water gun sprays them with water and they pull apart. "Not in front of the child! Look at Jeremy," I say.

They turn and Jeremy has his phone in those protective bags that prevents water damage to your phones. It looks like he's scrolling or swiping on something on his phone. "What? Did you say something? I'm just on Tinder looking for a cute boy to go bowling with me since none of you are interested in bowling with me!" Jeremy says.

"Somehow that was both innocent and not so innocent at the same time," I say.

Nicole says," Well, it's Jeremy. If he's anything, he's interesting and inconsistent."

"Hey! I take offense to that. I'm not interesting, I'm thrilling!" Jeremy says.

"I can't deal with you, people. Hello, underwater! I'm Wynonna Earp," I say swimming underneath the surface.

After half-hour of swimming we all get out and wait for Doc/Dolls to finish cooking the burgers, hot dogs, and Jeremy's strange tofu dog. It makes me want to vomit. Tofu is just food that comes from between your toes and tastes like it too. We are sitting at Dead Revenant's Dining Room table. All of us have changed into some dry clothes except Doc who didn't get that message. Nicole and Waverly are sitting next to each other, across from me and little ol' Jerm. Waverly is resting her head on Nicole's shoulder, great MORE PDA!

Doc comes in with the food and sets it in the center of the table. "Dig in! Please, ya'll must be starving. Stuff those faces," Docs says taking a seat at the head of the table.

Dolls sits on the opposite side. Nicole grabs her plate and sets two hot dog buns on the plate. She then puts the hot dogs in the buns and grabs the ketchup. She squirts a nice line across her hot dogs. She passes one of the dogs to Waverly and grabs the other. They start to eat their food. Jeremy gets his vomit tofu dogs and looks around at the table. "Hey, do we have any mayo? Can't eat my dogs without it!" Jeremy says.

Everyone looks disgusted. Dolls gets up and goes to Revenant's fridge. He pulls out the mayo and sets it on the table. "There you go, Agent Chetri," Dolls says.

"There is seriously something wrong with your taste buds! Let me guess you love Pineapple Pizza, too, right?" I say disgusted

"Oh, yeah! When I lived in..." Jeremy starts to say before I cut him off.

I roll my eyes," Just stop! You eat gross. Let's move on. Where's the whiskey?"

"How 'bout you have some food with that whiskey? You had a lot with no food," Waverly says.

"Yeah, Waves is right. What do you want a burger or a hot dog?" Nicole says wrapping her arm around Waverly.

I sighed," Burger. Hot dogs are for the afraid."

Doc asks curiously," Afraid of what?"

I grab my bun and burger. I slap them together and put ketchup on the beef. I take a big bite. While still chewing I say," Afraid of..." I swallow my food," Meat."

"Me? I love meat in my mouth," I say cocking my eyebrows.

Doc responds with," Well.. Let's..... eat then." He sighs and pours me my drink.

After dinner, Jeremy and Dolls go explore the mansion we are in. They hope to find some cool revenant treasure but I know it's bullshit! That revenant had stupid shit. Nothing interesting enough to keep. Doc was doing the dishes while I sipped on my drink. My sister and Nicole were across the room on the window seat. Surprisingly this mansion actually had a cool treasure. You could hear someone's conversation all the way across the room.

"Nicole, you okay? You seemed uneasy, today. What's going on?" Waverly said.

Nicole huffs," I don't know, anymore. This whole Bulshar thing. It scares me that I can't remember and I can't...."

"What? You can't what?" Waverly says concerned.

Nicole grabs her hand," I'll sound crazy!"

"Really? Crazier than the girl who fights demons for a living and whose family has been cursed by a demon sheriff who was a polygamist and now determined to kill me and my family. That kind of crazy? Baby, sanity is overrated like stiletto heels or the Real Housewives," Waverly says.

"But you love those things? " Nicole says playfully.

Waverly says," No, stilettos are pretty. And it's called a guilty pleasure for a reason, sweetie. You aren't crazy. Just tell me. Complete honesty. No holding back." 

Nicole takes a breathe," Do you remember Thanksgiving dinner when you were a kid?"

"Yes. Gus use to make this homemade cranberry jam and I would always help her peel the potatoes while Wynonna would always make up an excuse to not help," Waverly says.

She was right about that. I didn't do shit and ate like I was the Rock on his cheat day. 

Nicole traces the lines on Waverly's hand with her thumb," I can't remember any holiday from my childhood. Not a birthday. Not a Mother's Day. Not a Snow day. Nothing! Not until I was ten when I moved but before that it is all a giant blank space."

Waverly gripped Nicole's hand," I can't remember anything. I feel crazy. Who loses ten years of their life? I can't remember where I lived. It's like someone used that brain zapper from Men In Black and wiped my memory," Nicole starts crying and talking fast, " And now I remember being a Bulshar survivor? What does that mean? What does that make me? Who am I? Am I Nicole Haught? Am I cop? Am I your girlfriend? Do I live in Purgatory? Am I really from New Mexico? Did I really go to school in Calgary? Do I really hate Wynonna's cooking?"

Waverly pulls her into a hug," Hey.. hey. Everything going to be okay, alright. You are you. You are still the keeper of my heart and you are still a brave cop and you are the most remarkable woman I have ever met. And also..... no one likes Wynonna's cooking. Not even Wynonna."

I yell," YEP! SHE IS CORRECT."

"Were you eavesdropping?" Waverly asks.

"No, I was listening for bears and just happen to hear your whole conversation. Oops! " I say taking sip from my glass slyly.

Waverly pulls Nicole outside. "Well. I guess I'm all alone. Am I dead or am I in heaven?" I say aloud.

I take a sip from my drink and shut my eyes. I lean back into the leather chair and finally relax.


	2. "Like a microwaved frozen dinner that was only cooked half way!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is sick and cannot stop watching Friends until her girl stops for a visit. After a little doctor/ patient, they unpack an argument they had at the pool party. Things get... interesting. Who doesn't love a fever and a couple squabble, right???

Somehow after that pool party at that revenant's house I got the flu. I never get sick that I know of. I'm surviving on cough drops, Friends episodes on Netflix, and my herbal tea. Also my girl, Waverly. I told her to stay away but she insists to check up on me. I lay on my bed, with friends playing in the background, and drink water from my Academy water bottle when I heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" I grab the remote and pause Friends. 

"Nicole? You awake?" I hear Waverly's voice through the door.

I clear my throat,"Ye---ah. I'm awake. Come in."

She came in with a metal tin. She had her hair up in pigtails. She was wearing red and white flannel tied up which showed some of her stomach. She was an angel and I looked like death. "Come over if you dare," I joke.

She sits on the edge of the bed next me," How you feeling?"

I smile,"Like a microwaved frozen dinner that was only cooked half way!"

She laughs," So in layman's terms?" She winks at me.

That kills me," Well, I'm either too hot or too cold. No temperature feels right. And I have a sick cough. But I'm going to be ripped after all this from all the ab exercises I have been doing with the coughing."

She touches my forehead with the back of her hand," Your burning up."

I sit up,"So I'm literally haught. How ironic! I rather be the sexy kind of haught and not the temperature kind."

"Have you took your temperature?" Waverly asks.

I say,"Nah. I just woke up. I've only had time to watch Joey get his head stuck in a turkey."

Waverly looks at the T.V. and smiles. She then stands up and smoothes out her leather skirt," Where do you keep your thermometer?"

I grab a tissue and cough into it,"In that drawer over there."

She reaches into the top drawer and pulls out a thermometer. She removes the plastic protector. She sits on the bed and leans forward in front of me. I toss the tissue in the trash can next to me. "Open that pretty mouth," Waverly said.

I open my mouth and she places the thermometer's tip underneath my tongue. She presses the button and after twenty-five seconds, removes it. She looks at the thermometer. "I was going to make a bad joke but decided not to," I say.

"Your temperature's 38.8 ° C. Pretty high, Nicole. Any other symptoms?" Waverly asks.

"I have body aches and appetite is pretty weak, " I say.

"Well, then getting you this might have been hopeful thinking," she pulls out the metal tin from before," It's vanilla wafers. Gus, would make these homemade vanilla wafers every time I got sick. She use to joke that I would get sick just so I would get these cookies."

I open the tin," They seem delicious. And when I want to eat anything, it will be these." 

She half-smiles. I can tell it hurts her to see me like this: in pain and miserable. Waverly wants to make everyone happy. It's one of the things that made me fall in love with her. Her kindness and selflessness. Waverly focuses so much on others that she can forget to make herself happy. I never want her happiness to be on the back burner just so I can be happy. She deserves to be as happy as a unicorn riding a rainbow. 

"Hey. Baby, I'm okay. It's just a juvenile flu. I will be fine," I pull her back to the bed to sit down," How are you?"

She smiles," You're sick and asking how I am?"

"Yes. How are you?" I ask again.

"I'm good. I guess... me and Wynonna just blasted this demon librarian to hell. Jeremy and I decided to start a queer book club. I learned how to make my mom's oatmeal cookies using her old recipe I found at the homestead," She reaches out and touches my arm," Oh, and how can I forget! My girlfriend has a high fever and the flu and I can't do anything to fix it. I feel helpless cause I feel like I can't protect you. Or my friends. Or my sister. Or my niece. And I have a crazy super demon who wants to kill me and apparently he might have done something to you in the past involving this strange Bulshar massacre cult and....... I'm freaking out on you, sorry."

Waverly walks to the other side of the bed and lies next to me. "I shouldn't be unloading on you like this. It's just..." 

"I know. It's a lot," I say.

Waverly says," You can say that!"

"I'm sorry," I turn towards her.

She turns and faces me," For what?"

"What I said at that pool party," I say.

She grabs my hand," I know you didn't mean it. You were having a panic attack. You were having a hard time."

"Doesn't make up for what I said," I say.

Waverly says,"It's fine."

"I shouldn't have brought up, you know who. I also shouldn't mentioned him," I say.

"Are we really doing this, now? Cause if we are I need to be vertical," Waverly says.

We sit up," You go."

She places her hands over mine," I get you have a past, so do I. I'm not proud of it but it's there. We both made mistakes in the past about lying and bad decisions but..."

I say," But what?"

"Bringing up, Shae. It stung and it hurt but I get it. Bulshar pushed you there. He's taunting you. But..... he's taunting me, too. Don't you get that?" Waverly says.

"I do. I really do, baby. It just slipped out of my mouth," I say.

Waverly asks," But do you really think I'm just with you to fix you like Shea? "

I hesitate," I don't think you are trying to fix me but you can't make me endlessly happy everyday. I'm going to be cranky. We are going to have disagreements. I'm going to have a bad day. That's life. Life is a range of emotions. Happy is just one of those emotions. But I promise to love you endlessly everyday. I promise you my heart. I will promise I will always be proud that you are my girl. Look, Waves," I hold both her hands and look into her eyes," My life is puzzle right now. I'm missing some pieces. I have the edge pieces. I'm just missing a few pieces in the middle. Even if I find out the truth about the Cult of Bulshar there will always be a missing piece and that is you. If I didn't have you I would be a unfinished puzzle. Incomplete. Unfinished. But with you, I'm complete. You complete me, Waverly Earp. So I would choose that over pure fleeting happiness any day!"

Waverly looked at me with tears in her eyes," You complete me, too. I love you, Nicole.

She wraps in her arms and holds me. "I'm going to get you sick," I say.

"I don't care. I love you more," Waverly tightens her grip.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders. I kiss the side of her cheek. After the most beautiful minute she pulls away. She looks at me and kisses my nose. She then curls into my side. She wraps herself around me. I stroke her head," I'm also very sorry for bringing up, Champ, too."

She looks up at me," You were right. He was an idiot. I did settle for him."

She sits up," But I'm not settling for you. I didn't fall in love with you because you were the only one offering. It kinda worries me that you think that about yourself."

I put my elbow on my knee," Look it's my insecurities. My baggage."

"But we are together. That stuff matters in a relationship," Waverly says.

I take a deep breathe," When I was 17, I came out. My parents weren't cool with a lesbian daughter so they said either be straight or get out. I got out. I stayed on my girlfriend's couch. After awhile our relationship felt like duty and work. We were the only lesbians at my high school. It felt like we were only together because we had that one thing in common, being gay. We didn't click. It wasn't real. The only reason we stayed together is because I came out and was kicked out of my house. She felt like she had to be with me and after a while it blew up in our faces. We had this horrible fight. She did some things and so did I. I moved out and never saw her again."

Waverly sighs," I'm sorry you went through that, Nicole. But, I need you to know something. You aren't a burden or a consolation prize. I chose you. You chose me. We love each other. Nothing can stop us because we are pretty unstoppable, baby."

"You are pretty great, huh?" I say.

Waverly smiled," And don't you forget it!" She bops on the nose.

We start watching Friends and then I pass out. I wake up in couching fit. I feel her touch my skin. I open my eyes and she has a plastic cup with a orange liquid in it. "Here. Take this," Waverly hands me the cup.

I sit up," What is it?"

"Medicine. Drink," Waverly instructed.

I put it to my lips but bring it back down. I look at it. I swirl it around and notice how thick the liquid it is. I put my nose up to it and smell it. It smelled like artificial oranges and chemicals. "I kinda hate you for making me drink this but I guess here I go," I shoot it down like a shot. 

I groan and wince. It tastes awful. My eyes squint and water. She hands me my water bottle and I quickly down it. I try to erase that taste from my taste buds. She grabs the thermometer from the table and places it in my mouth. "It's 37.7 ° C now. So it's going down," Waverly says.

I shake my head," Good. Being sick sucks!"

"How you feeling, baby?" Waverly asks.

" A little better, actually. Maybe you are an angel who is a healer for the sick," I say. 

She smiles," So if I made you some chicken noodle soup, would you be able to eat it?"

"No, because I hate chicken noodle. But I'm up for some tomato soup and some of those wafers," I say.

"Well, then tomato soup it is," She kisses my forehead," I will right back."

After half an episode of Friends, she comes back with a breakfast tray with a bowl. She sets it on my lap and hands me the spoon. "There you go, baby. Eat up!" Waverly says.

I spoon the soup and put the warm liquid in my mouth. I feel it down my sore throat and it feels soothing. I finish the bowl quickly. Waverly says "You must have been hungry, Nicole."

"It has been awhile since I was in the mood to eat. Thanks, baby for this. You are the greatest," I say.

Waverly grabs the tin," You wanted try this?"

"Of course. Give me one," I say.

She places one in my palm. I press it into lips and feel the crunch of the cookie against my teeth. It was very crunching on outside but creamy in the middle. It was very good. Definitely would eat all them if I wasn't sick. I look up at her, "Thank you. They were great. Now go home, please."

"You sure?" Waverly asks.

"Yes. I'm fine. I need to sleep anyway. I will call you tomorrow," I say.

She gets off the bed. She grabs her purse from the floor. "Feel better, baby. I love you," She leans over kisses my cheek.

"I love you, too. Bye," I say.

She leaves and I throw my blanket over me. I press play and hear Ross whine on screen. He's such a baby. I shut my eyes and go back to sleep. I see Bulshar in my dream. He's so close and he is laughing at me. I stand up and I'm covered in blood. So much blood. I touch my face and the blood smears all over. I see all the dead bodies. The ones like in my memory flashes. The ones like massacre victims in the Pussy Willows. The cuts on their bodies and the laying of their bodies. I kneel down and see the symbol. The symbol of Bulshar. It's craved into a woman's face. He could get even more gruesome than I thought. He's laughing at me. 

He standing on some hills above me. I look at his skin it's all pale and rubbery. I blink my eyes. And now I see two of them but one is different. He has a scar across his face. He's wearing a uniform but I don't recognize it. It's not Canadian or American. It looks foreign like it's from somewhere in Europe. Bulshar holds his hand up towards the sky and something weird starts to happen. Some kind of light ball appears and blasts into the sky.

Suddenly, it's dark like it's night. Then the air starts spinning. Mr. Beret Guy starts swinging a blade in the air. The blade is strange. It is a nine foot long blade and glowing. He spins it in a circle in front of himself. He grips the handle. He points it at me. He throws it at me but it misses. And I hear a scream and it's Waverly. I turn towards her but Bulshar uses that light ball to freeze me in place. I can't move I'm frozen and all I can do is hear her cry and scream. I wake up immediately. I breathe heavily and I'm dripping with sweat. I put my hands on my face. "It's not real. It was just a dream," I say to myself.

I lay back down. I go to my bedside table and grab my phone. I text someone a message and right after that text they call me. "Hey. I need to tell you something. It's important. It's about Bulshar. I think I know something that we can use to take him down. But you have to promise to not tell, Waverly. Ok." 

The voice over the phone," I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment. Enjoy. Watch an episode of Friends and Earp your day!


	3. "Somehow I'm Ted Mosby in this universe!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time travel's tricky even for a genius like Jeremy. He accidentally sends Wayhaught into the universe of How I Met Your Mother after a long binge of HIMYM. Nicole is shocked to find out she's Ted, Jeremy and Doc are the Lily and Marshall in this universe, Wynonna is the player, and Waverly is her Robin the girl who she's destined to see across a room. But will Waverly throw a drink in her face or fall for her? Or maybe she does both!?

I wake up with Waverly laying on top of my chest. Her arms wrapped my waist. I kiss her forehead when I hear my phone beep. I reach over to the bedside table next to me and pick up my phone. 

JEREMY: Hey, can you meet me at BBD? I need to show you something ASAP! It's important.

I reply back: Sure. I'll be there in 20. 

I softly touch Waverly's arm and she slowly wakes up. She opens her eyes and stretches her arms. "Hmmmm.... Hi," Waverly smiles.

I sit up,"Hi to you, too."

"I was just dreaming about you," Waverly says.

I lean onto my knees," Oh really?" 

She leans in closer," Oh, yes!"

I softly touch her chin and kiss her lips. Waverly grips onto my neck and kisses me back. I lean my forehead against hers. I tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Even after almost a year, she still takes my breathe away. She strokes my cheek and gives me a soft peck on the cheek. I hold her hand in mine. "You need to go, don't you?" Waverly says with a slight disappointed look on her face.

"Yeah. I do. Jeremy says he needs me at BBD. It sounds important," I say.

Waverly wraps her hands around the back of my neck," Can I go with you?"

"How can I say no to that face?" I say.

Waverly smiles," I am adorable like a puppy."

I stand up," Then let's get dressed, Earp!" I pull her off the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We walk into BBD with Jeremy wearing headphones, his back to us. I tap his shoulder and he jumps like a scared kitten. "Dang, Officer Haught! You scared me. We live in town filled with demons and vampires. Announce yourself, before entering a room. Geez," He huffs.

Waverly interjects," She did. She said your name three times, Jeremy."

"Oh sorry. I see you brought the lovely Miss Waverly Earp with you which is what I expected you to do," Jeremy says pausing his show.

We look at the screen and he is watching How I Met Your Mother.

I ask," How I Met Your Mother?"

"Yeah. I love it. One of my favorite shows. You watch?" Jeremy asks.

"No. We are more of a Friends kind of couple. You know cause of the lesbian characters and we are in very lesbian relationship," I say holding Waverly's hand.

Waverly says," Also Courtney Cox. Lisa Kudrow. And especially Jennifer Aniston. Makes us pretty interested in Friends more." 

Jeremy walks over to his lab station," You know, How I Met Your Mother has lesbian characters, too. Also Willow from Buffy is on it, too. But I didn't ask you here to discuss which sitcom is the best," Jeremy says.

"So what's so important that you wanted to discuss here?" I ask.

Jeremy says," I hear that you have repressed memories of being a survivor of the Bulshar cult and I think I know how to get the memories you are looking for."

I raise my eyebrow," And how will you do that, exactly?"

"Time travel," Jeremy says with a giant smile.

Waverly says in shock," Like Back to the Future... Doc... time traveling car kind of time travel?" 

"Yes except for the car part," Jeremy says.

He produces two metal helmets with wires tangled around them. 

"What are those?" Waverly says pointing at the helmets.

Jeremy continues to smile," Those are time traveling caps. We developed them when I was in Black Badge. I was testing there capaabilities when I met this ray of sunshine who hit me over the head. I never gave them back to Black Badge so I thought this would be a great opportunity to use them."

I cross my arms," You had them all this time we have known you and never told us until now." 

"You guys never trusted me. I was the enemy's employee. You never would have believed me or would let me into your world. But now I know you got my back and I want you to know Nicole that I got your back and I really want to help you," Jeremy said earnestly. 

Waverly still wasn't convinced," How come you didn't show your secret to Wynonna? We could time travel back in time to when Wyatt Earp was cursed by Bulshar. We could stop the curse!" 

Jeremy frowns," We can't, though. A) If we go back in time to stop Wyatt from being cursed, you and Wynonna wouldn't exist----" 

I interrupt," What do you mean? Why wouldn't Waverly and Wynonna not exist anymore without the curse?"

Waverly had a realization," Cause Ward and Michelle met because of the curse. I remember bedtime stories from Mama telling me she first fell for my Daddy cause he fought the bad guys and won on their first date. Without the curse, they never would've have continued dating after that first date. My educational guess is that Ward isn't the only heir who had met his match because of the curse."

Jeremy shakes his head," Yes. Only one who didn't was Edwin Earp."

I ask," What's point B?"

"The caps are only designed to go back thirty years," Jeremy states.

Waverly says," 30 years? Why that certain amount of time?"

"Cause that what the design permits. We were working on extending that to a longer time period but the project got cut short by someone with a clumsy elbow," Jeremy raises his eyebrows.

Waverly throws her hands in the air," How many times do I have to say 'I'm sorry' okay?"

I grab the helmet from the lab table," So it can only go back and forwards 30 years, correct?"

Jeremy hesitates," Yes but also can go back and forwards in fictional universes. All you need is to hold the item and press the button and you will be transported to the time." 

I ask," So you need something from when I can't remember? An item from that time. How are you going to do that?"

"I went to the library and picked up a NY Times Newspaper from the last year you can remember and so just sit down. The both of you. You can go together," Jeremy says.

We sit down on the stools in front of us. We are holding hands. Jeremy puts the helmets over our heads. He tightens the chin straps. I am holding one of the pages of the newspaper. 2000. Sounds like such a long time ago. I see Waverly grab something from his desk, it's a Season 3: How I Met Your Mother dvd. I feel Jeremy press our buttons.

"Okay. It's should take about a minute or two for it to work," Jeremy says.

I look at the newspaper in horror," Wait! This is from 2008 not 2000. I was 17 then! This is when I came out. I can't go back to that time. Stop it! Stop it, please!"

Jeremy realizes his huge fuck up,"Oh, sorry. It was dark and the eight looked like a zero. I can't stop it. I'm so sorry, Nicole. I just wanted to help."

I was having a panic attack. I was breathing heavily and shaking. I could feel Waverly rub my back. It really was an awful time. Losing my parents. My best friend. Having to live on my girlfriend's couch and knowing all well that I didn't love her. I couldn't imagine going back but here I am.

Jeremy looks at Waverly," Waverly? What's in your hand?"

Waverly says," I don't know. I think it's a dvd. I was bored so I was reading it while you were messing with the caps. Why? What's wrong?

Jeremy looks a little freaked," We really are living in this shitshow, now! Cause I gave you the wrong newspaper and since Waverly has the How I Met Your Mother dvd in her hand when I pressed the button. That means you will be...."

Before he could finish his sentence, I was pulled forward. It felt like a vacuum sucking you up. I saw rainbow colors and felt the feeling of leather fabric against my skin. I jumped up and I was on a couch. But not any couch. The couch from How I Met Your Mother. I couldn't forget that couch. 

Confession: I use to love HIMYM. It was the show I would watch with my Dad. He loved it. He said it always reminded him of his bachelor days before meeting my mother and having me. After he kicked me out, the show was a constant reminder of my Dad. It still hurts to see Neil Patrick Harris in any movie or tv show cause I know my Dad would definitely see those shows. Like my Dad can be committed and devoted to Neil but not me. I remember when I told my Dad that Neil was married to the Scooter character in real life. "Those gays so proud of their sin but he's a funny guy so I will pretend he's not a sinner," My dad said.

I was shocked. I was fifteen, almost sixteen. I was struggling with my sexuality. I knew I liked girls and that I wasn't attracted to guys. I knew he was a proud christian and was a supporter of John McCain but I never expected for such a homophobic comment from my father. After making that comment, it embolden my Dad to continue to say homophobic things about gay people and about gay marriage. He would often reference HIMYM as evidence for his bigoted claims. "You see in How I Met Your Mother, it's a love story between a man and a woman. Not two dudes," He said.

I said," What about Barney's gay brother and his husband and their children, Dad? You are such a hypocrite!"

His face got very tight and red to match his balding hair," Don't talk to me that way, young lady! I am your father. You must respect me. I give you a roof over your head and food to eat and clothes to wear. I play for those coaches you train with. I give you anything and you treat me like a fiend. Go to your room, young lady! Now!"

I stormed out and never spoke against him again. He was right. He did give me everything and I didn't want to give it up just yet. And now I'm here in the universe that made my Dad so happy. I pat down my hair. I'm wearing a v-neck grey sweater with light washed blue jeans. Just like what Ted wears in the pilot.

"Somehow I'm Ted Mosby in this universe," I say out loud.

I hear a knock on the door. I get up and open it. It's Jeremy. He's on his knee holding a wedding ring in his hand. "What the-" I say.

"Will you help me plan my proposal?" Jeremy says.

I raise my eyebrows," Wait! You are getting married? To who? You haven't had a date since Obama was president. "

Jeremy stands confused," Obama is the president. Well he's going to be in one month in January when he takes office. What's wrong with you? Did you hit your head?"

I scratch my head," No. I'm fine. So who's the lucky guy?"

"The guy I dated since we were roommates in college. Did you smoke something or what?" Jeremy says.

He steps into the apartment," So are you going to help?"

"Yes. I'm your best friend, right?" I say.

"Thank you. Thank you! I want it to be romantic and memorable for him. Do you have any ideas?" Jeremy asks.

I shrug," I don't know... Oooh... Why don't you cook him a home cooked meal and have some champagne. Then once he's fat and plump, pop the question. Keep him on his toes. You can use my kitchen," I say.

He flicks me on the shoulder," It's our kitchen, remember, silly! We live together as boss butt roommates." 

"Oh yeah. So you will cook, have champagne, pop the question. Oh and one thing I must ask of you," I say.

Jeremy asks," What?"

"Do not have sex on the kitchen floor," I say.

"Scout's honor. Promise," he says.

"Great. Get engaged and be so fucking happy for me," I say patting his shoulder with my palm.

Jeremy smiles," Why? Because you are very single and alone."

I give a confused look," I'm not alone. I have Waverly."

"Who is Waverly, Teddy?" Jeremy says.

"Teddy?" I ask.

He says," Yeah. That's your name, girly."

I ask," And what's your name?"

"Do I need to call my buddy who is a doctor? It's Marshall. You okay?" Jeremy or well Marshall says. 

I hear a key go into a lock and the door opens, it's Doc. Minus his cowboy hat and his MUSTACHE! He is clean shaved wearing a white crewneck sweater with paint all over it. " I really hate paint day! Look, at what the kids did to my shirt. They ruined it," Doc holds out his shirt.

"Baby---" Jeremy says before I quickly interrupt him.

I shout," Baby?"

"Yeah, this is my long term boyfriend since you forgot. Lilian, Teddy hit her head so she has amnesia now and doesn't remember anything. So why don't you reintroduce yourself," Jeremy says.

Doc or well Lilian holds out his hand," Hi, I'm Lilian Aldrin and this is my very handsome boyfriend: Marshall Eriksen. We have been together since all us went to college together. I'm a kindergarten teacher. Marshall is going to law school. You and Marshall are roommates in this lovely apartment. You are a architect and you are lesbian. Just in case you forgot that about yourself. You haven't dated in while since dumping your girlfriend. Oh and your other best friend is Barnette Stinson. She is a player but has a heart of gold. We keep her around cause she's fun to make fun of. You all caught up, dear?"

I slowly shake my head," Yeah. So I'm Teddy Mosby, right?"

"Yes," Jeremy/Marshall says.

"I'm going to the bar. I need alcohol, lots of it!" I say.

Both of them say," Love you. Don't forget anything else, please."

I walk into MacLaren's bar. Just like I remember from the show. Carl was behind the bar. I approach Carl, "Scotch. Neat. Make it a double, please."

Carl replies," You got it."

He grabs a glass and pours my drink. He slides it to me. I press it to my lips and down the whole glass. "Better," I say to myself.

A voice says," You seem like a girl having a hard day."

I turn, it's a beautiful brunette with olive skin. She sitting at the table closest to the bar. She drinking a Cosmo. I sit down next to her. "Yeah. You can say that," I say.

"So why you drinking tonight, Scotch Lady?" She asks.

I say," Uh, well. My best friend is getting engaged. I'm so happy for him. I just couldn't imagine settling down."

"Do you think you will ever get married?" she asks.

I sober up," Uh, yeah. Eventually when I meet that person. We will have a wedding in the spring and it will be outside in nature. We will exchange our vows. We have a nice band play, maybe something alternative or folksy. Maybe with some violins and cellos. It's my wedding, right? We would be the happiest people in the world."

My face falls into a somber look. I throw my face onto the table. "Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged?" I say lifting my head. 

"It's cute. I feel like I just went to your wedding and I'm getting drunk at your reception," she smiles.

"Really? Cute? Nothing more charming than a girl planning out her future imaginary wedding with a girl she just met in a bar, right?" I say. 

She pursues her lips," Very cute."

"Clearly, you have been drinking before you went to my imaginary reception. How about I buy you another?" I ask.

"Sure. As long as you let me buy you one as well, " she says.

I head to the bar and she follows," Hey, can I get another Cosmo for her?" 

I put a ten down on the bar. She says "And get her another scotch on my tab, Carl."

He starts mixing the drinks and hands them to us. We sit back down at the table. 

"Oh, where were we? Oh, right! I'm a sappy sucker and you are the greatest listener I have ever seen," I say.

She smiles and I continue talking," Have you ever had a dream so realistic that for a moment you think it's true?"

She shakes her head no and I keep talking," In the dream, I was a cop and I had this beautiful girlfriend. And we fought demons. And there was this curse. And I lived in Canada."

She lights up," Wow. That sounds like an exciting dream!"

"Yeah, it was. It was so real it felt like I could touch it, it was that real!" I say. 

I felt a little woozy from my drink. "You sure feel with every bone in your body," she says.

I lean closer," You can say that."

I get a third drink and it rushes through me. I feel fuzzy and a little brave. I guess they call it liquid courage for a reason, right? "So how would you feel about going out on a date with me?"

She freezes. I can tell I said the wrong thing. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were interested in women romantically," I say embarrassed.

She smiles," I am but I am also interested in men. Like my boyfriend: Carl the bartender."

My face gets bright red, maybe it's genetic," Oh. my. god. I'm sorry. I'll pay for my drinks and leave." 

I throw a thirty dollars on the bar and leave running out of there. I head back into the apartment. When open the door I hear a loud pop and then a scream. I run to the kitchen. It's Marshall/Jeremy and Lilian/Doc on the floor. Lilian cups his eye. "What the hell happened?" I ask.

"Oh. We got engaged and then I accidentally popped the cork into Lilian's eye," Marshall/Jeremy says.

I have a big smile," Oh my god! Congrats. On the engagement not the eye thing. Are you okay, Lilian?" 

"Yeah. I will be fine," he says.

"Let's take you to the hospital, dear. Teddy, stay here. I will take care of my fiancée," Marshall/Jeremy said.

Lilian/ Doc smiles," I love the sound of that 'fiancée'."

They leave and close the door behind them. "That will never not be weird. Man, that dream was realistic. In that dream, Lilian was a straight as knife cowboy and Marshall was a dorky gay lab tech. Never not weird, oooh boy!" I say to my self.

I feel a buzz in my back pocket and it's a flip phone. Of course, it's 2008, right! I flip it open and answer it. "Hello?" I say into the phone.

A familiar voice," Bar. 20 minutes. Suit up!"

"Who is this?" I say.

The voice seems offended," Ugh.. It's your best friend: Barnette Stinson."

"I thought, Marshall was my best friend?" I ask confused.

Barnette groans," I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND OK? Bar now! And wear a suit."

"I don't want to," I say.

Barnette demands, "Yes, you do."

"No, I don't. I don't feel like wearing a suit. I also just made an ass of myself so that's a no, " I say.

"But, Teddy I have important news. It's life or death kind of news. You have to come!" Barnette begs.

"Fine. I will go," I say

Barnette adds," And you will wear a suit, right?"

"Whatever," I hang up.

I walk into the bar and see someone wave at me. My face is shocked. It's Wynonna from my dream. The whiskey loving demon killer Heir who has to kill demons and is also my friend and my girlfriend's sister. She's wearing a black pantsuit. I walk up to her. "Happy?" I say.

"No. You aren't wearing a suit," Barnette says.

"Yeah. I am," I say.

Barnette shakes her head," It's a blazer."

"What? It's my nicest blazer," I say.

"When I say suit up, SUIT UP, goddammit!" Barnette groans. 

Carl is giving the most intense stink eye ever. "What did you do to, Carl?" Barnette asks.

"I asked out his girlfriend," I say flatly.

Barnette says, "Wow, bad move, Mosby."

"I know. What's your news?" I ask.

"I got you a teddy bear," Barnette says.

"That's the news. Life or death news. A teddy bear. Where is it?" I ask.

"At my office," Barnette says.

Barnette continues talking," What's up with you besides asking out our favorite bar's bartender's girlfriend?"

"Marshall and Lilian are engaged," I say.

"Huge mistake! We shouldn't be getting married. Married? Do it when your forty and your life is over not when you are in your prime," Barnette says.

"I don't know. I thought I would be doing more with my life. I mean I have been the same place at work for years. I'm not in a relationship. I just want what they have," I say.

"No. No. No. Teddy. No. You are doing the best. You have no commitment in your life, your life is amazing just like mine," Barnette says. 

"Yeah. You are right. I'm not ready to settle down right now!" I say. 

I continue talking," The plan has always been don't even think about getting married until you are thirty."

Barnette says," Exactly. Don't get married."

"And Marshall has found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I'm not... but if I was," I say.

Barnette says," You aren't, remember?"

"Yeah but if I was 'Okay. I'm ready. Where is she?"I say.

I look across the room. My eyes meet the girl. The girl from my dreams. Not in a 'you are my dream girl' way but my actual girl from my dreams. The girl who is very smart and talented and beautiful. She hunts demons and she loves me and I love her. Her name is Waverly Earp. It is the same girl. Same brown hair. Same hazel eyes. Same sparkly smile. She is wearing a green turtleneck. She sees me and smiles. Does she recognize me? It's like destiny, me finding her again in reality. 

"Hey, Barnette? You see that girl?" I point to the girl from my dreams.

Barnette says," Oh yeah. Get on that! Go say, hi."

"I don't know. What do I say, hi? That's lame. I am going to send her a drink and then---" I say.

She steps up to the bar and Barnette taps her shoulder. "Have you met, Teddy?"

She whispers into my ear," You are welcome!"

She walks away. "Hi," I say.

"Hi. Teddy, right?" my dream girl says.

"Yeah. Come here often?" I say.

Really? Come here often? That's the worst line in the world. Do better, Mosby! "Uh, no. I don't think so. I don't know. This bar has this energy like I have been here before. Like I feel like I know you so well. Like I have know you for years," dream girl says.

"A year," I murmur.

She asks," What?"

"Uh, it's not important. So what's your name?" I ask.

She holds her hand out,"Robin."

We shake hands but it such a long handshake. Full of feeling and tension. "So what do you?" Robin/Waverly asks

I say, "I design buildings, I guess."

"Well, I guess I report the news. It's pretty shitty fluff pieces but I guess it's better than being a cocktail waitress, right?" she says.

In my dream, when I met Waverly she was a cocktail waitress. Maybe, my dream isn't a dream at all. "Well, I have to go my friend is giving the death stare. She was just dumped by her fiancée and she hates anyone with legs right now," she says grabbing her drink.

"What is her name, Chrissy?" I joke.

Her face straightens," Yeah. It is. What are you a nine-nine cent fortune teller on the weekends?"

I smile," No. But I am a girl who wants to go on a date with you if you are interested."

She smiles too," I'm interested. When are you thinking?"

"How about this Saturday?" I ask. 

She frowns," Can't. I am going on a trip for work."

"What about Friday?" I ask.

"That sounds like a plan. Give me your hand," Robin/Waverly says.

I raise an eyebrow," Why?"

She grabs my hand anyways and reaches into my breast pouch. I hold my breathe. She pulls out a pen. She writes something on my hand. She puts the pen back and holds her hand over the pen's location. She smirks. She loves to watch me react to the touch. "How long does it take for a pitcher of margaritas?" Chrissy yells from across the room.

"One minute! Sorry. I have to deal with that. Call me," she says.

"Wait. How bad is your friend hurting?" I ask.

Robin/Waverly looks at me," He cheated on her with her other best friend, Stephanie."

"Ouch! That hurts! How about you throw a drink in my face? I bet that would make her very happy. I'm your willing sacrifice," I say.

She smiles wider," Ooo.. that always looks fun in the movies," she winks at me then says," Fuck, you!" She throws her drink in my face.

Her friend smiles and she leans into my ear," That was fun!"

She walks back to her table with her friends. They all start talking and giggling. I grab a napkin from the bar. I wipe the booze off my face. Barnette approaches," Wow, the ladies aren't digging you today. That was a brutal, turn down. Do you need ice for that major, BURN!"

I smile, "Well, actually... she burned her number onto my hand using ink as her medium."

"You love to be colorful. How come girls just fall onto your lap and I get the dumb stupid guys?" Barnette/Wynonna says.

I say," That's a double negative and I'm just lucky. Anyways, we are going out tomorrow."

"Wait. We are going to laser tag tomorrow," Barnette/Wynonna says.

I say," Oh right. I remember. Well. I'll choose the beautiful girl over laser tag any day of the week."

Barnette/Wynonna says, "Hey. There are hot girls who do laser tag, I'm one of them."

"You are the exemption, my dear. I have to call, Marshall. I have to see if Lilian still has an eye," I walk out.

Barnette yells," What? WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE BETTER!!"

I lied. I'm calling her. I saw that she left her friends, 15 minutes ago. She must be at least home. I knew she would give me shit for already calling her but there is something about her. Like I'm destined to be with her. Like we are soulmates. Like I have met her before. "Hi, I smell like my uncle on Super Bowl Sunday. Nice throw," I say.

"I'm sorry. I won't apologize 'cause that was just too fun," she says.

"How about we have some non-drinking throwing fun? Tomorrow. 7. I pick you up. Dinner. And whatever else you want," I say.

"Can't wait. Especially for the whatever I want part," she says.

I smile," You are too much!"

"You sure, you can handle me?" she says flirtatiously.

I change the wheels," You are right. You do feel familiar."

I switch the phone to my other ear," I'm definitely use to handling you."

She laughs into the phone," Goodnight, Nicole."

My face tightens," Wait did you call me, Nicole?"

"Oh god! I'm sorry. I'm horrible with names. Will you forgive me?" she asks.

"Uh, yes. I don't care it's just it sounds..." I say.

She answers for me," Familiar? I can't explain it but you feel like a Nicole to me. Goodnight."

"Nite," I say and hang up the phone.

What the hell is going on? She called me by my dream name. She looks so familiar. Maybe it wasn't a dream but actually reality. Maybe I'm dreaming now. I pinch my arm. Ouch! Definitely not asleep. Then what? What can it be? I go back up to the apartment and go to sleep.

After a long day and what felt like forever it's finally six o'clock. I get ready for my date. I wear my best sweater and some good black slacks. I apply some basic makeup and put on some lipgloss. I hear a knock on my door. I walk to the door and open it's Doc or well Lilian in eye patch. I laugh deeply. "I'm sorry, this isn't Arby's, my pirate friend." I'm laughing my ass now.

"Ha ha ha. Where's Marshall?" he asks.

"His room. I have to go I have a woman to woo. Bye," I close the door behind.

After a taxi ride, I make it to her street. I knock on her door. She comes out. She is so beautiful. I feel that familiar breathlessness from before. She straighten her bangs. She is wearing a ruby red turtleneck with a leather skirt with grey stockings and boot heels. I say out loud," Damn."

"You think I look good?" she asks.

I smile," Hot damn."

"You are the hot one," she said.

That word stuck my brain," Yeah, hot."

We are walking to the subway. She insisted, saying she can't let me spend that much money on a taxi. "So where are we going?" she asks.

"This bistro I love. Has great bread so it's a quality restaurant. Has a beautiful fireplace with this adorable French horn hung over it. Oh and did I mention the bread?" I say.

"It's that good, huh?" she asks.

I shake my head," Oh, yeah. One time I think I became thirty percent bread after going there."

She grabs my hand and we walk on the subway. After a nerve racking subway ride of hand holding and quick looks and fluttering of my stomach, I couldn't imagine eating. We were seated in the center of the restaurant. The waiter put the bread in front of us. "You want to eat the heaven bread?" she asks.

"No, you first. I would be selfist if I ate it first since this is your first time," I say.

She tries and groans. "You are right, amazing."

I don't say anything. I'm kinda of staring into space," Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room."

"Well, his name is Peter. He loves grass and---" I say before she touches my wrist.

"Sorry about the whole Nicole name thing! I don't know where that came from," she said.

I smile and put my thumb over her hand," It's okay. I'm just curious where you came from?"

"Uh, I'm from Canada. I just moved here a couple months ago," she said.

I freeze, " You are from Canada?"

"Yeah. I know. I have heard every Canadian joke thought of so if you are about to make joke--- " she starts to say before I cut in.

"Where in Canada?" I ask wide eyed.

She replies, "Um, Vancouver."

"Have you ever heard of town called: Purgatory?" I ask.

She hesitates," Um, it sounds familiar but I don't know. What? You know someone from there?"

"I don't know, anymore. We should order, right?" I say focusing on the menu. 

She orders a chicken salad and I have some pasta. We finish our food. I look up at the fireplace. The blue French horn hanging up above the fireplace and a thought pops in my head. I laugh and she notices. "What's so funny?" she asks.

"No. It's a bad joke. You will think it's dumb," I say.

She leans forward," Try me."

"Okay. You see that French horn?" I ask.

"Yes," she says carefully.

I laugh," Doesn't it kinda look like... a smurf's penis!"

She says," That's awful."

"Sorry. It's just popped in my head," I say.

"It's awful and hilarious. I totally could snort at that joke," she says and then intertwines her fingers into mine. I look into her eyes.

She looks away," We should go."

I say to the waiter," Check, please!"

He puts the check on the table and she reaches for it. "Hey, no! Let me. I asked you out," I say. She raises her eyebrow," You sure?" 

"Yes, I'm paying and that's it!" I say putting my card in the booklet. I hand it to the waiter.

"So it's time for the 'whatever I want' portion of the evening," she says slyly.

I smile," Oh, right?"

"Yes and I have so many ideas. One of them is going back to my apartment so I can change out these boot heels because they are killing my feet," she says.

"Sure," I say.

We make it to her apartment and then her phone rings. "Oh, sorry. I have to answer it," she puts the phone to her ear, "Hello. What? You are kidding? Right now? Yes, I want it. Be there, soon." She frowns.

"There's this story they want me to cover and it's not fluff and it's a real breaking news story and I'm so sorry I know we---" she says before I say.

"Go!" I say.

"Really?" she asks.

I smile," Yes. Go. We have time for the whatever later."

"Thanks. I have to change and be in SoHo in thirty minutes," she says.

She steps to her door and I lean against the door. "It was fun making bad jokes and being with you, tonight. I can't imagine, what 'whatever you want' will be to top, tonight. Better be real good," I say.

"Oh, it is!" she says confidently.

I hold my hand out, "Nice meeting you, Robin."

She shakes my hand,"Nice meeting you, Teddy."

It's a prolonged handshake. I feel her stroke my index finger with her thumb. She leans forward but pull away. "Goodnight and good luck with your story," I say. 

I hail a taxi and go home. "I'm an fucking idiot!" I yell in the cab.

The cabbie responds," I believe it."

"Not helpful, sir!" I say.

I walk into the apartment and say," I'm an idiot!"

Marshall/Jeremy says," What did you do this time?"

"And please, tell me it wasn't Shauna," Lilian/Doc says.

"No. I went on an amazing date with a sexy woman," I say.

"Wait, I'm confused. Isn't that a good thing?" they ask.

I shrug," Yes but she had to leave because she's news reporter. I know very cool. She had a breaking news story and we had this sexy handshake and I didn't kiss her. Why didn't I kiss her?"

"Why didn't you?" they ask.

"Cause I didn't know if she wanted me to. She didn't give me a signal," I say.

Lilian/Doc says," What signal? No one gives out a signal alerting them to be kissed. They kiss you or you kiss them. It's that simple. I promise you, Marshall didn't give me a signal to kiss him our first kiss."

"So I screwed up? What do I do?" I ask.

Marshall/Jeremy says," Kiss her."

"How can I she is..." I say.

"Um, is that her?" Lilian/Doc points to the TV.

She's on the screen reporting a major car accident," Yes! That's her. You think she's home yet?

"Can't hurt to try," Marshall/Jeremy says.

I hesitate but dial my phone," I need a favor. I need to borrow your car."

Barnette/Wynonna says," What for?"

"I need to kiss a girl who I should've have kissed already," I say. 

Barnette/Wynonna says," Only on one condition."

"Let me guess: suit up," I say.

"Correct. I'll be there in a jiffy," she said as she hung up the phone.

She pulled up to the curb and rolled down her window,"Yes. You did. And did it well, my friend."

"Hurry! It's two in the morning," I say.

Barnette smiles," You got it, boss."

We got there very quickly. I knocked on the door. She opened it. "Hi? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I need to talk to you about what we talked about," I say.

She rubs her eyes," Right now? Why are you wearing a pantsuit at 2 a.m.?"

"I was being extorted for ride here and I was required to wear formal wear with pants," I say.

She smiles," Come in."

I sit on the couch. She comes in with a pot of coffee and two mugs. "My guess is we both need caffeine to continue this conversation," she says.

I say," Yeah. Thanks."

"So about the whole whatever conversation, it was going to be---" She starts to say before I stop her.

I put my hand up," No, no. It's not that."

"What is it? You are freaking me out," she says.

"I'm going sound absolutely bonkers crazy right now," I say.

"Ok....." she says slightly scared.

"You remember when you called me, Nicole?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says.

"I think my name really is Nicole and your name is Waverly," I say.

She realizes something," That name, Waverly. I know it. I have heard that name in this dream where I was..."

"A demon hunter? I had the same dream. Except maybe it's not a dream," I say.

She was shocked," How did you know about my dream?"

"'Cause this isn't our universe. This isn't our world,al it's someone else's. Someone's dreamt up world. I remember this room. This couch. Like it was on a tv screen. I think I watched it on tv. I think somehow, someway we were transported into the lives of these tv characters," I say.

"How did you think this happen?" she ask.

I shake my head," I don't know. But do you believe me?"

"I'm not sure. What if you are a con artist or something? What if this is all just a sick twisted game?" she asks.

"I'll prove it. This might sound weird but kiss me," I say.

"What?" she asks.

"Kiss me. Trust me," I say.

She raises an eyebrow," So I'm suppose to trust you by doing this test so that I know that I can trust you?"

"Yes. Because do you remember the feeling of this being so darn familiar. There is a reason for that. You remember my real name right?" I ask.

She says," Yeah. Nicole Haught. You are a cop. Wait, I remember something else!"

"What?" I ask.

"I remember you were in the hospital and you were dying because you were poisoned by a demon spider lady. I betrayed my sister to save you but I don't know why," she says.

I pull her up," Cause there is something here. You can't deny the energy when we are together. It's electric and I can't fight the feeling that I'm meant to be with you. It's damn proven, we met again even in another universe! A universe written by TV writers. We belong together!"

"Do I feel something for you? Yes. But there is a difference between attraction and trust. I don't know you," she says.

I touch her shoulders,"But you do. I know you. I know that you get cold very easily and need three blankets plus a bonus blanket. I know that you tell everyone that your favorite food is lasagna but you are lying. I know that when you were six, you broke nose from trying to do a handstand in your bedroom. I know that you put everyone's else feelings above your own. I know that all you want in this world is to make people happy. And I know that you are expect everyone in your life to leave you like your family left you behind but I never will leave you. And the most Waverly Earp thing I know about you is that you are constantly afraid of yourself because you have a darkness inside you but you would never admit it because you think it makes you seem like a lesser woman."

"How did you know that? I never told anyone, any of that!" she asks.

I grab her face," Cause I think I'm in love with you. No. Not think. I know. I love you. I love that you are the most clingy person I have ever met. I love it when you crinkle your nose when you are annoyed. I love how you smell like vanilla and pumpkin spice. I love that I have survived a bullet and a demon bite just so I can continue loving you. I love your loyalty for your sister. I love your dedication for your friends. But the one thing I love the most about you is your pure heart. You believe the good in anyone. Even when shit goes batshit crazy you never say negative things or lose hope that everything is going to be alright. You give me hope and I know wherever, whenever, or what universe I'm in, I will always love you madly."

I pull her into my lips and I kiss her. It was like a electricity flowing through our lips. It then all comes flashing back. Our first kiss in Nedley's office. How nervous I was but so happy. Our almost time in the barn. How she was the only person I needed in that moment. The feeling of her pulling off my sweater. Me tugging at her shirt. Our lips colliding. Me pulling her closer. Until Willa interrupted us. Surprisingly, no one has interrupted us in this reality. Seeing Waverly walk down those stairs at the party. She was so beautiful. She was my princess in blue. Our first time. The second time. When she forgave me after I lied to her. When we fought vampires together. I pulled her closer and kissed her deeper. My heart beats so fast and my breathing deepens and gets even more breathier. She wrapped her hands around my waist. She pulls me in tighter.I feel her hands up my back and I place my hands on her collarbone. I run my fingers across the bone and let my fingertips dance across her collarbone. I put my lips to her collarbone and kiss across the bone. I then move up and kiss her neck. Then her jaw. She leads me lips into hers and she slowly kisses my lips. She holds my face in her hands.

"I remember. You and I. Us. I remember this. Us together. Us kissing. Us touching. Us fighting demons together as a couple. We are a couple. We are the couple. Wayhaught. I love you so much, Nicole. I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she said.

I shrugged," Well, I didn't believe me so I get it."

"I want you to know why I love you," she said.

I shake my head," You don't have to. I know already."

"No, I want to. Please, just let me tell you because I don't know how many other universes there are where I know I love you. I need you to know the things I love about you. I love how confident you are. I love your sweetness. I love how you push me to be the best me. I love how much of a protector you are. I love how sexy you are. I love how you didn't sign up for any of this insanity but you still stick around because you love me. I love how much you love me. I love how you make me feel loved. I love that I never have to worry about you leaving cause I know you would never hurt me like that. I especially love that you aren't afraid to speak against me when you know I'm being stubborn," she says.

I wrap my arms around her," How do we go back?"

"I have an idea. Hold my hand," Waverly says.

I hold her hand. She starts saying something in latin or something. "What did you say?" I ask.

She replies," Purgatory. 2018. Black Badge Division Headquarters. Now."

I start to say,"Wow, that's so..."

I close my eyes and I feel the familiar vacuum suck. I see the rainbow. I feel my body hit something metal. I open my eyes. We are back! We landed back into those stalls. I look up to see Jeremy smiling," You are back! I'm so sorry---"

I hug him. He pats my back awkwardly," You okay, Haught?"

"I'm great. I have my woman and I am back in Purgatory. I'm with my buddy, Jeremy. And you aren't engaged to a clean shaven Doc. Never been happier," I say with a big grin.

Jeremy looks at Waverly," Is she okay?"

Waverly shrugs," At this point, I have no clue anymore."

"Hey, Jeremy do you mind if I borrow your How I Met Your Mother DVD?" I ask.

"Umm.. sure. Yeah, of course you can borrow it," He says confused.

I grab Waverly's hand," You ready to go home, honey?"

"Yeah. Just let me get my bag," she says.

I smile," I'll warm up the car and will wait for you."

I kiss her cheek and walk to the door. "She is freaking me out! But I love her so much so bye I guess! I guess that just happened! And I didn't even get to time travel for real, though." I hear Waverly say.

Jeremy then says before I close the door behind me," Just take care of your girl for now."

Got to love to be back in my favorite place in the world: Purgatory. I pull my keys out of my pocket and unlock my cruiser. "Suzy, I miss you. You are my favorite stallion to drive. Let's get us home! I need a nap and a warm shower," I say to my car. 

Waverly hops in the car," You okay?"

I kiss her lips," Never better but could use a coffee and a shower."

Waverly raises her brows," You sure? You sure everything's fine after our stay in How I Met Your Mother land?"

I tilt my head," Yes. I am fine. What just happened me realized how lucky I am. To have a woman who I love. A job I'm proud of and passionate about. Good friends. And a beautiful kitty who smells like love and kitty litter. I don't need my family's approval. When I got you, everything in my life is only amazing."

"You amaze me, Nicole. You are amazing. And I am starving. Can we go to the diner? I think I haven't eaten since spending two and half days in that universe. I would kill for a flapjack right now!" she smirks.

I say," Food and coffee it is. Let's go, babe!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment. Respect Friends Stans and How I Met Your Mother Stans. Be awkward with your crush. Earp up your day!


	4. "R.I.P. Sexy Dragon Man, Xavier Dolls: Part One"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dragon who was the boss of our Scooby Doo gang has been killed by the enemy. How will Wynonna handle it? Will Waverly survive without crying? How do you honor the memory of a sexy dragon man who you know very little about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This is set after the death of Dolls in 3x02. This has been written before the episode 3x03 so this is my imagination of the aftermath of his death. Sorry about any spoilers reading this might have. Please enjoy and comment!!--

"I have never seen you like this, Wynonna."

I look back at my imaginary mother. It's like she's haunting me and she's alive. And Dolls is dead. Life is fucking ironic! 

I say," Maybe, cause you are use to causing the hurt instead of witnessing it."

She shakes her head," That's the best you got? I have been in prison since your little sister was playing barbie and slept with that teddy bear named Carl."

"Oh yeah! I forgot. You abandoned your five year old daughter. She had to grow up with no dad or mom. You did that. You are the cause for all the pain in Waverly's life. And mine too. Why don't you just get out?!" I say taking a swig from my whiskey bottle.

My mom got in my face,"Good. Get angry. At the universe. At this curse. At me. Use that negative energy you have bottled up for good use. You can't just keep drinking and staring at a wall."

"Why not? I don't have a boss anymore. So I can stare at a wall all I want," I say with a blank face.

I see my ghost mother walk up to my sister. She started poking her shoulder. She looked up. She was looking for the source of the poke. She searched the room and meets my eyes. She gets up from the table and stands in front of me.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

I don't respond. She continues talking," Look. I know you need your space to... you know... grieve or whatever. We will give it to you. You don't have to say anything but don't shut us out. Don't push us away. We love you, Wynonna. And so did, Dolls."

I blink and take another swig from the bottle. I continue staring at the wall. My ghost mother comes to bug me again," I swear that she is a angel that god lended me from those pearly white gates from above."

" Heaven doesn't exist," I say.

My ghosty mama says," I think your sister has all my good qualities. She is smart--"

"But you said you are not smart?" I say.

She rolls her eyes," I'm not smart with men. But clearly that's not a problem your sister possesses."

Someone knocks on the door and Waverly hobbles to the door. "Hi, Nicole. Come in," Waverly says.

Nicole is wearing a bright blue sweater and jeans. You can tell she hasn't slept. "Hi. How is she?" Nicole asks.

Waverly closes the door," Um.. better than yesterday but still not good."

Nicole looks at my direction," Has she been sitting there all day?"

Waverly says, "Kinda yeah. She just drinks, stares at that wall, and ignores everything I say."

Waverly hops back to her chair but Nicole holds out her arm," Hey, here. Let me help you."

Waverly sits down at her chair and Nicole sits next to her. "How are you, Waverly?" Nicole asks.

"I'm good. Well not, good. I'm functioning and dealing with this change in my life," Waverly says.

Nicole smiles," Said like a person who read that from a self-help book."

"I did. Actual several," Waverly reaches from the floor and produces a bunch of books," Some on grief. Depression. Dealing with a big change. How to support a love one when they lose someone." 

Nicole picks up a book," Why?"

Waverly shrugs," I don't know. I thought if I read these books I could help Wynonna and everyone else. I have actually read some helpful stuff but I don't know if it is going to make a difference."

"Yeah, unless it's a book on how to resurrect a dragon man from the grave then I don't think it will make any difference but I love that you care so much that you are willing to put yourself through these books," Nicole says grabbing her hand.

My mother says," She cares about Waverly. She seems very protective. Very attentive. Waverly seems happy."

"Happiness is just a lie. We all die. We all disappoint. We all suck," I say.

She asks," Do you want her to be happy?"

"Yes, of course. But let's be realistic, happiness doesn't last. No one is happy," I say.

My mama shakes her head," I don't know about that one cause all I see is pure happiness. I have a feeling about this one. Like she is going to change our Waverly's life in such a good way. She might be Waverly's one and only."

"One and only? Are we in the 50's? You know what's after the one? The next one. And the one after that. And even sometimes multiple ones all at one," I say.

"You don't think I know that? You think your father was my one and only? Definitely not. I was like you, Wynonna. Jumping bed to bed in hopes of feeling something. I can promise you, the most I felt was a foot cramp. That kind of sex isn't enjoyable and satisfying. The best kind of sex is when you have sex with someone you love and want to cuddle with," she says.

I say," Eww..."

"Love makes the world go round. Love makes us do stupid things like what Willa did. Yes, I know about that. I know everything. I also know that love makes you do the greatest things in life. I know I may sound like a crabby hag bitch but I'm glad I got arrested and was thrown in the cage. It gave you girls a chance. Honey, look at me. I'm not a fit mother. I'm crazy as a bat and I couldn't do cheer practice drop-offs or band concerts or pick you up from jail for vandalizing some girl's car who called you some clever name for the millionth time," she says.

"But I needed my mother. You were able take care of me for eleven years but couldn't anymore? I needed someone to teach me how to use makeup or tell me about sex or I needed my mother's advice when I got pregnant for the first time. I was scared. I was all by myself and I needed you. I use to think what would Michelle say. How would you handle this because you are right, we are the same. I got pregnant, I had a baby, and I gave her up so she could have a better life. But it would've been nice to have my mother hold my hand," I say.

She holds my hand," Go on. Tell me how you really feel."

" I needed you the other day and you treated me like I was crazy. Something worse is happening but I'm so depressed I can't leave this chair. I mean Dolls died. He died. No heart beat dead. He was a dragon and he died. If he can die, who can't say Waverly or Doc or Nicole or anyone else I care about won't die. Why won't you tell me what I want to know?" I ask.

"Cause Wynnie, the truth is dangerous or are you forgetting that demon that cut off your sister's pretty hand. If I told you, he will destroy everything in your life and I couldn't imagine anything bad happening to you," she says.

Another knock on the door. Waverly starts to get up. "No. Stay. Rest your leg, Wonder Woman," Nicole says.

"Hi, Doc. Come in," he steps inside," Hey, why don't I get us something to drink."

Nicole comes from the kitchen with a scotch," Scotch?"

"We are saving the whiskey for Wynonna and only have one bottle left," Waverly says.

Nicole hands him the glass and pours the scotch in the glass. He starts to drink it. She offers it to Waverly but she declines. Nicole then pours herself a drink and sits back down at the table. "So I heard there is a memorial party for Dolls at Shorty's?" Nicole says.

"Uh, yeah. It was Jeremy's idea. He thought it would be good for the town," Dolls says.

Waverly stands up even after Nicole's pleading eyes to just sit back down," Really? It's so..... It's inappropriate or you know, disrespectful."

Dolls starts to dig his knife into the table,"It's necessary. When a man dies, he should be celebrated."

Waverly voices gets higher like a parrot," But Dolls didn't even drink."

Nicole glances at her drink,"Yeah but we need to. I think Doc is right, I think a wake would be nice."

"Ok. Fine. I'll make sandwiches. Pastrami. Salami. Egg. Tuna. Cucumber. Ham and Cheese. Ham no cheese---" Waverly starting to spin out of control.

Nicole says," Waves, we don't need sandwiches for an army, okay. Dolls had five friends, four of them are right here."

"But I'm starving, aren't you?" Waverly starts to giggle," Is it wrong to be this hungry when Dolls will never eat again?.... Why can't I stop giggling??" 

"Now who's inappropriate?" Doc says.

Nicole glares at Doc, "Hey. Watch it."

"I'm sorry, should I be more like you. Yeah, rigid and unfeeling when our friend is in the morgue and the big dead guy who had him killed is still out there," Waverly says.

Doc grips his glass and then jerks it at the wall. The glass shatters. Everyone is shocked. But they are most shocked that I barely react to it. The room gets really stiff and awkward. "Is that enough feeling for you?" Doc says.

The room is silent. Nicole downs her whole glass. "You know what? I'm gonna go outside and smoke. I need some air."

Waverly walks into the kitchen. I could hear her in there. Opening pantry doors. Drawers. Picking up silverware. Setting plates down. "What are you doing?" Nicole asks.

"I'm making the sandwiches," Waverly says.

I can hear her move quicker and her breathe getting thicker. "Hey, stop. Breathe. You are going to hyperventilate," Nicole says.

Waverly chokes up,"But.. I can't do this. I can't be strong. I don't know how. How should I act? Should I make more food? Read more books? I want to help. But, I can't help. I am freaking useless and Dolls is dead. He's dead. And I want to support Wynonna and my friends but I don't know how to without laughing. I can't do this."

I throw my empty whiskey bottle in the trash can. I walk towards the kitchen. I see my sister with tears flowing down her cheeks. Nicole looks at her," Hey, Waves. It's going to be okay."

She holds Waverly's cheeks and kisses her forehead. Then her nose. And then kisses her softly on the lips. Waverly grips Nicole's neck. "I don't know what I would do without you," Waverly says.

"You don't have to," she says.

Waverly strokes Nicole's hair," When I heard the screaming and I saw you over the edge I was so scared I was going to lose you." 

"You aren't. I'm safe and I'm here. You aren't getting rid of me that easily," Nicole says.

I walk into the kitchen and grab the last bottle of whiskey. I see their slight smiles. I think they are actually happy I'm interrupting them."Hi, Wynonna. How are you feeling...." I walk out and sit back down in my chair.

I unscrew the cap and chug some of my whiskey. I reached into my shirt and pulled out what was around my neck: Dolls's dog tags. I trace the letters with my fingers and put it to my nose. It still smells like him.I put it in my palm and close my hand. I start to cry the first time since Dolls was lying on the ground that he had died on. "R.I.P. Sexy Dragon Man, Xavier Dolls," I say out loud.

"I'm proud of you, Wynonna. May Dolls rest in peace," my imaginary ghost mother said.


	5. "R.I.P. Sexy Dragon Man, Xavier Dolls: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wayhaught visits Dolls place and finds out a secret. There's a funeral. Someone unexpected comes and gives a speech.

With the key in my hand, I put it into the lock. I turn it and open the door. "This feels weird," I say.

"I promised his landlord, that I would clean out his apartment. But yeah it is a little weird," Nicole says.

I say," How come you know his landlord? And why did he give you a key?"

"I told you. He was helping me with the Bulshar cult. He and I would work here sometimes after work. He would leave files here as well," Nicole said.

I look at his apartment, it's pretty bare. He had black canvas couch, some lamps, and a cheap coffee table. No TV or sound system. He lived in a studio apartment so it was all one large room. No other rooms except for the bathroom and the balcony. His living area was by the door and his bed was at the far end of the room by the wall. He had a queen sized bed with a basic green comforter and had a couple dressers. He had a large filing cabinet in his bed area. In his kitchen was a fridge, stove top, and a microwave. Not much to it. He had a small table which had papers and files.

I say, "Dolls, sure liked to pack light."

"Yeah, it's like a ghost lived here," Nicole says.

I ask," Was it like this last time you were here?"

"Yeah. Exactly. No photos or personal items," Nicole says.

"Um, where should we start?" I ask.

Nicole shrugs," The table. Underneath all that shit should be something useful."

We walk over to the table. I start grabbing some of the papers. Cult of Bulshar. Black Badge. Michelle Gibson. Michelle Gibson's Prison Records. Gus Gibson. Ward Earp. Arrest Records of Ward Earp. Medical Records of Michelle Gibson. Wynonna Earp's Medical Records. And a name I see over and over that I don't recognize. 

"He was digging up dirt on my family. Researching my mom, Wynonna, my Dad, and Black Badge. And this name, do you recognize it?" I say.

"No. He didn't tell me about any of this. He talks about Bulshar and this cult but none of this. Why would he be doing this?" Nicole asks.

I can't shake this feeling," It's a little funny. He was digging up on my family and Black Badge and he ends up dead. Sounds like too big coincidence to just happen."

"What are you saying that someone hired that demon on speed to kill, Dolls?" Nicole says.

"We can't rule it out. Think about besides Wynonna everyone he was looking into would want him dead if he let out any of this sensitive information," I say.

Nicole says," Yeah but one is dead, one is on the lamb with Wynonna's baby, and one is wearing a nice red jumpsuit in prison."

"Yeah but how hard is it to get out of prison?" I say.

Nicole raises her eyebrows," You think she broke out of prison and then went back?"

"We don't know she's in prison. She could have escaped. Wynonna told me she knows things about Bulshar. What if he broke her out of prison? He is a super demon. He could do it," I say.

Nicole says," What about Black Badge? How does this no longer agency still have files? Look at the date. That was last month."

"So they lied to Dolls and Doc. Black Badge is alive. Maybe they are working with Bulshar?" I say.

Nicole says," It's a theory or maybe you are just reaching because you want a bad guy who isn't a super demon?"

"You think I'm going crazy, losing it. Being paranoid," I say.

Nicole shakes her head," No. Not even a little bit but I think these papers are giving you hope. Hope is dangerous. It only breeds misery. You know how many nights I have spent hoping for something? Hoping my family would accept me. Hoping my marriage would work out. Hoping you would fall in love with me." 

I smile," But, I did that."

I wrap my arms around her waist. "Exactly. Sometimes we have to be careful for what we hope for but sometimes it really pays off," Nicole says.

I shrug,"Let's get a box to put these files in. Bring them into the office so Jeremy or Doc could look at them. Maybe they know more about them."

We put them in the boxes. We move on to the dressers. I grab a trash bag and start putting clothes in the bag to donate to Goodwill. I pick up a t-shirt and underneath is a photograph. "Hey, look at this. Look!" I say.

I show her the photograph," Oh my god. It's from--"

"That pool party at that revenant's house. That was such a fun night. 

Nicole says," Yeah, it was!"

"But I can't remember what Dolls was doing," I say.

Nicole smiles," What Dolls did best, observe."

"I really miss him," I say.

Nicole says," Yeah. Me, too. That's why we are having that party at Shorty's to remember him. Look at that smile. Dolls, died a happy man surrounded by the people he loved the most. That's how we remember him."

"Ok-ay... But I am making sandwiches and snacks," I say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We walk into Shorty's with the food and surprisingly there's a good crowd. Nedley is there and so is Chrissy. Doc is behind the bar, pouring Wynonna a drink. Jeremy was sitting a table. He isn't looking very good. Restless. His hair is frizzy and out of order. "How you doing?" I ask him.

He fakes a smile," I'm fine. Check on Wynonna. She needs you."

Nedley stands up with a beer in his hand," Hi, excuse me! I would like to say a few words."

Everyone starts to crowd around Nedley."Agent Dolls, was a major pain in my ass. He always used all the half and half in the fridge. I don't think I ever saw a smile on his smug face. He had trouble with the whole social graces cause he had none. He was a quiet and determined kind of man. I will miss him. I will miss that serious look on his face. He died a hero. He saved my deputy and I am eternally grateful. Mostly cause I'm too lazy to look for a new deputy. So thank you for that, Dolls. But in all seriousness, Dolls has saved our town so many times. He is our town's hero and he has only been here for almost a year. I never seen such a dedicated and disciplined lawman in my life. I would kill for any officer to be half the man or woman, Dolls was. To Xavier Dolls, thank you for touching all of our lives."

We all cheers," To Dolls!"

We drink. "R.I.P. Sexy Dragon Man, Xavier Dolls," Wynonna says.

We smile. She hasn't spoke a word since Dolls had died. Our gang all says," To sexy dragon man, Xavier Dolls!!"

We cheers again and group hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes tears* We will miss you dragon man! Next chapter will be less sad, promise! Comment, please! Did I make you weep? Sorry, if I did. Mega Earp up your day for the memory of Xavier Dolls.


	6. "Boo Freaking Boo!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devil's Night. Halloween. The night where children dress up like the very demons our gang fights. Jeremy wonders what is around the corner for him. Is it a demon or a cute boy? Will Wayhaught be his wing moms or will have spend another night alone?

Jeremy Chetri's Log: October 31, 9:09 A.M.

Nothing much has gone on except for a demon at a grocery store eating some of the patrons. Wynonna shot him right in the eye. After a couple months, without him we finally managed to return to a normal schedule. We try to keep busy. I'm always researching Black Badge trying to figure out how Agent Dolls became a dragon mutant. Wynonna is always bugging me about any new developments with Bulshar. Waverly is helping researching on Black Badge but we got squat. Officer Haught is busy with these outbreaks of vandalism in town. We can't explain it but something wicked this way comes.

"Aloha, Geek Boy! You got me my info on that demon who is a B?" Wynonna asks.

I shake my head," No. I'm sorry. I'm trying everything but not like he leaves a paper trail or has a cell phone I could track. I will keep trying but we might have to accept he is in hiding."

"You suck, just like today!" Wynonna says.

I ask," You hate Halloween? It's the best holiday!"

"Yes. Last year, I saw a ten people in demon masks. It is kinda hard for me to do my job when children and man-children dress up like revenants," Wynonna huffs.

"But candy!" I say.

Wynonna shakes her head,"Nah, I will stick to Whiskey but thanks for nothing, JC."

Jeremy Chetri's Log: October 31, 10:43 A.M.

I was looking at satellite photos when Waverly came strolling in with a pumpkin basket. "Happy Halloween, Jeremy! Want a piece of candy?" she asks me.

I smile,"Boy, do I?"

I reach into the basket and get a Snickers bar. "Yes! You are not you unless you have a Snickers bar, right, Waves?"

She smiles," You kid me, Jer. So what are your plans for Halloween?"

"Oh. Me. My apartment. Bowl of candy. Hocus Pocus. And trying to learn the Thriller dance," I say miming the dance. 

Waverly frowns," You are going to be alone? No, this cannot stand. Look, Jeremy, I talked Doc into having a costume party at Shorty's. I first had to have a long conversation with Doc explaining what Halloween is and by the end I left more confused than he did. Anyways, get yourself a costume because Costume Party at Shorty's. So you in?"

I smile," Yes. Yes! I'm so excited. Any cute guys going to be there?"

"Um, Purgatory Cute, yeah?" Waverly shrugs.

I hold my hand up," Well, this going to rule. High five?"

She high fives me with power," Wow! You are... so strong. My fingers are a little numb."

"Sorry. Well, see you then, I guess. 9 pm," she says. 

Oh god, what am I going wear? This is really a Sophie's choice moment right now!

Jeremy Chetri's Log: October 31, 2:55 P.M.

I was studying a map of the Ghost Triangle and got a text from Officer Haught. 

Nicole: I need to meet you at my desk. It's important.

Oh god? What could it be? Is it about Bulshar? Or is about her memory gaps? Or does she know the truth behind Dolls' condition? I open my phone and text back.

Jeremy: Sure. Be there in a sec.

I close my laptop. I have my phone in my hand. I walk out the door and then I see a scary figure out of the corner of my eye. It was a demon like thing, like the thing we killed when I first met the group. I scream and make karate chop moves. "Look you demon I was a green belt and I have a wicked kick so you better watch out!" I weakly warn.

The demon walks closer. It grabs my shoulders and lightly pushes me. "Boo freaking boo!" the demon yells. But it isn't a demon, it's a demon mask. He is human. He peels off his mask and reveals it is a very attractive blonde man. He's wearing a Purgatory Police uniform. I notice Nicole holding a cell phone she must have been recording the whole time when I was scared poopless. She presses the stop button and puts her phone in her pocket. She laughing so hard. "I got you so good! You should see your face... well actually you will because I just sent it to our group chat," Nicole says.

Nicole puts her hand on the handsome cop's shoulder," And I would like to thank my good colleague and friend Josh for that brilliant performance as demon dude."

He smiles. He has perfect pearly white teeth. Hot dang I have a crush on the hot cop, great! "It is no problem. I can not turn down a good scare especially for a such a good looking scientist," he says and I swear he winks.

I hold out my hand," I don't think we have formally met in a non-scare situation. I'm Black Badge scientist, Agent Jeremy Chetri."

He takes my hand,"Hi Black Badge Scientist, Agent Jeremy Chetri. I'm Purgatory Deputy, Officer Josh Sweet. Nice to meet you. Really enjoyed scaring the shit out of you. But you held up as a true fighter."

He mimics boxer punches," Thank you, Nicole for including the new guy in this rad halloween prank and for introducing me to Agent Chetri."

Some garble comes across their walkies and their eyes meet. "Damn. We got another vandalism incident at a construction site. I swear they just spray paint these buildings just to make me stay late at work. Come on, Newbie. We got another report to fill out," Nicole says.

They grab their jackets from the chairs of their desks. And they put on their hats on. Josh looks like a dreamy Liam Hemsworth with blonde hair and a mustache. So dang hot, it makes my heart race. "So, Waves told me you are coming to the party. Can't wait to see your costume. See you then," Nicole says leaving the room.

He smiles," I liked meeting you and the scare. I will see you at the party."

I freeze," Wait. You are going to the party?"

"Yeah, Nicky invited me. Sounded fun. I would be great to meet new people who aren't criminals or cops or lab techs. But I think you are an exception for that one," he says winking.

I smile," What is your costume?"

"If I told you that, I wouldn't be the sexy mysterious guy who taps you on the shoulder," he says.

I blush," Well. I will see you there, Officer Sweet."

He tips his hat at me, "See you then, Agent Chetri."

Jeremy Chetri's Log: October 31, 8:30 P.M.

Figuring out the costume was definitely was harder when I had to impress Officer Sweet. Who is so damn sweet and flirty it worries me that is just his personality. It's not just lesbians who deal with the heartbreak of having a crush on a genuinely nice person who is flirty. I add the last touches to my costume. I look at myself in the mirror. Dang. I look hot! I jell my hair and leave my apartment.

Jeremy Chetri's Log: October 31, 9:08 P.M.

I made it inside and it looks like the whole town came to the party. I look for Sweet but I can't see him. I push my way to the bar, the plus side of being a skinny guy I can worm my way through any crowd. Doc is a cow and my eyes short function. "Why are you a cow?" I ask.

Doc shrugs his shoulders," Waverly told me Halloween is when people dress up like strange creatures and beg strangers for candy. Growing up cows were the strangest thing my young lad eyes laid on." 

"It's weird. You are usually so suave and now you make me want some chocolate milk," I say.

Doc rolls his eyes," Ordering or not?"

"Um.. could I have whiskey with two cherries?" I ask.

He looks at me," No cosmo or margarita? That's not you, Jeremy."

"What, I'm trying to branch out into more sophisticated things. More masculine things. Please! Just give me the drink," I say.

He pours it and gives it to me with a shrug. I scan the room. Cowboys. Zombies. Vampires. Clowns. Celebrities. I yell at a stranger," I love you Kim K!"

I see Wynonna and go up to her. She's wearing a Daria costume. "I thought you didn't like Halloween?" I ask.

She shakes her head," I don't. Waverly dragged me out here."

I look at her costume again," Daria! Love her. How come you choose Daria?" I asked.

She sips her drink," We have the same values. We hate everyone and we don't give a shit anymore."

"Well, cool. What do you think?" I ask.

She looks at it," It's very you. You were going to morph into Doc, it was just going to happen."

"No. I'm Jack Twist from Brokeback Mountain," I say.

She shrugs," I'm sorry. You are the gay version of Doc."

I see a waving hand in the air and I follow it. It's Waverly and Nicole looking very cute. Nicole was Velma and Waverly is Daphne. "Hi, Jeremy! Loving your cute cowboy costume," Waverly says.

Nicole says," What do you think of us?" She wraps her arm around Waverly.

"I love it. It's what Scooby Doo always should have been!" I say.

Waverly looks at me like I have salad in my teeth," Oh boy. Is something in my teeth? On my face? My costume?" I say.

Waverly shakes her head," No. Nicole was telling me about her new partner. Officer Sweet."

I say," What about him?"

"Well, he told he broke up with his boyfriend a couple months ago. And he is very cute," Nicole says.

Waverly says," You two would be so cute together."

"I don't even know if he likes me like that. I just met him," I say.

Nicole says," Well, right after I met her I got to see her without her shirt."

I make a face and look back at them.

Waverly explains," No. Not that! I spilled beer over it. I was changing and it got suck. She helped me take it off. Then she swooped in and took my heart."

"Really? Just like that? Let's not forget Champ, a evil witch, a demon serial killer, and a conversation about lesbian unicorns," Nicole says very flirtatiously. 

They kiss on the lips. I want to be like them. To be in such a sweet and loving relationship. I want that closeness and love. I want that with Josh. "Okay, I'm going to find him. Thank you, moms!"

They say," You are welcome our child!"

"Hello, Cowboy?" a voice says.

I turn around it's a guy in a Batman costume. A mysterious guy. Who just tapped me on the shoulder. He says," Hi. Told ya, I would find you. I'm a fan of this costume!"

I smile," Oh, really? I just threw it together. I guess I have been spending too much time watching---"

I'm about finish what I'm saying but he says it for me," Brokeback Mountain! I love that movie. Love me some Jack Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway," he says.

"Anne Hathaway?" I ask.

He smiles," Oh. Yes!" Then a woman grabs his hand and kisses him on the lips. I think ,"Oh shit." He pulls away. He wraps his arms around her waist," I guess you can say I have a type."

I step back," Hi, I'm Agent Chetri. I work in the same building as Officer Sweet."

She smiles,"Hi. I'm Margo Harvey. I work as a secretary for the Purgatory Police Department. We have actually met before."

"Oh. Yeah. When the copier was jammed," I realize. I didn't recognize her without her glasses and the uniform.

She says," Yeah. I can admit I have never helped someone print pictures of a massacre that happened in my town."

I don't say anything but Josh jumps in," So guess what, JC is dressed up as?"

She looks at me," A cowboy?"

I shake my head but he jumps in again," He's Jack Twist. From Brokeback Mountain."

I'm a little shocked that he pointed that out to her and she says," Oh, that movie you love. He's obsessed with that movie. Sometimes I think he moved to Purgatory just because Wyatt Earp, Wild West Cowboy. But I don't blame him for crushing out on that cute cowboy from that movie. Cowboys are so dreamy!"

He smiles," Hey, I like cowboys and cowgirls! It is my right as a bisexual man to lust after both Jack Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway. " 

My face gets red but I take off my hat and play it off as me being hot. "Well, Jeremy, you look very dreamy and I must find Hannah to tell her about Craig," she says leaving us alone.

I look up at him and he takes off the mask," So you didn't know, huh?"

"No. But I'm cool. We all should just love who we love, right?" I swallow," I'm happy for you and Margo." I'm not if I was honest but who's honest. 

He smiles," Thanks. She's great. I mean after Ty dumped me, I needed someone who was really down to earth and pure, you know?"

"I get it. You want someone who can just listen to you and hold you. To feel heard and wanted. Like they are your person," I say.

He puts his mask back on," So what's your opinion on Batman?" 

"Overrated. But you look good as Batman. Do you need a Robin, huh?" I say with a smile. 

"Um.. I'm going to say hi to Nicky. I'll see you around, Chetri," he says. 

"Wait.. before you go. What do you think of my costume?" I say grabbing his wrist.

He touches my wrist and smiles," You are a cute Jake Gyllenhaal."

He walks away and I breathe out. "Hot damn!"

Nicole walks up to," Did you say my name?"

"Huh, you should really consider a side career as a stand up comic," I say.

"So, how did it go with Sweet?" she asks.

I look at her," He has a girlfriend."

She frowns," I'm sorry. I thought he was gay. I swear he told he had a ex-boyfriend."

"He does. He does have an ex-boyfriend, Ty. But now he's dating Margo, the secretary at Purgatory PD," I tell her.

Nicole says," Oh, her? She's really pretty. Not helping! Right. Sorry."

She wraps me in a bear hug," I'm sorry, kid! It sucks. The elusive bisexual. Always the sexiest. Always taken. I have been there and I have felt that hopeless feeling you are feeling. I get it. But remember us gays always get what we want even if it kills us."

Then someone shoots out the windows. I drive underneath the bar. I see Nicole reach into her bag and pull out her pistol. Along with BatSweet. And Wynonna. They point their guns at the door. "God, I fuckin' hate, Halloween!! These motherfuckers!!" Wynonna says.

The doors fly off the hinges. I say," Oh shit! We gonna die."

Some revenants wearing masks enter the bar. "You humans. So damn stupid. To have a party where we can kill the heir and the rest of the town in one place. You are just making this too damn easy!" 

They point their guns at Wynonna. I then see the tip of a shotgun point at them. "Well, you bros are stupid enough to not check your surroundings. Cause I got a freaking gun pointing at those ugly masks you are wearing. Say: Trick or Treat, you shiteaters!" Waverly says.

She pulls the trigger and blasts one revenant. Then the next one. And the big one. And then the last one in the chest. They lie on the floor, bleeding. Wynonna goes up to them and points the gun to the face of the revenant," Your costumes suck!"

She shoots them all and sends them back to hell. We managed to explained to the civilians that it was theatrical performance by the local community college and it was part of the party. After told them that they started clapping and whistling. That is the most applause we have ever got in our whole career. "That was some performance, Jer!" Josh says.

"Well, you know the magic of theater. It can do anything, right?" I say.

He smiles," Yeah. If that's what you are going with,Chetri. But I need something from you."

"What is that?" I ask.

He smiles," A number. Yours. We can have a coffee or a drink at Shorty's or--"

"Or play D&D at my apartment?" I suggest.

He laughs," Sure. I'm up to try that. Give me the phone. Now!"

I grab my phone from my pocket and unlock it," So demanding! Here."

"So what about your phone?" I ask.

He places my phone in my hand but doesn't move his hand," No, you call me or no dragons at that tiny apartment of yours."

"Okay. But for the record, it's a studio so...." I say with a grin.

He swaggers away," Bye, Cowboy."

"Bye, Batman!" I say. 

Waverly grabs my hat and puts it on her head," That seemed very friendly like boyfriend friendly." 

I say," I shut up!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment. Watch Brokeback Mountain. Be gay. Earp up your day!

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think. I'm definitely open for suggestions for ideas for future chapters. Let's Earp up today!


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